From Bill Johnson.
There is something powerful that happened in King David’s life before he was ever a King. I feel like I am supposed to summon a generation to a private world and to a public world. A private world that is deep and intimate and a public world that is very bold and very focused.
And I am wanting to challenge you to this tonight.
Repentance means much more than weeping over sin, or even turning from those sins to follow God. In fact, turning from sin to God is more the result of true repentance than it is the actual act. Repentance means you change your way of thinking. And it’s only in changing the way we think that we can discover the focus of Jesus’ ministry— the Kingdom.
This is not just a heavenly mandate to have happy thoughts. Obeying this command is possible only for those who surrender to the grace of God. The renewed mind is the result of a surrendered heart.
Johnson, Bill (2005-01-28). When Heaven Invades Earth (Kindle Locations 392-396). Destiny Image. Kindle Edition.
I try to create songs and I am somewhat successful at finishing a song now. I post them to FB and I don’t get any responses to them, so maybe not so successful at creating something others like. That really is ok, because what I create is mostly messing around on a canvas of sound and what I end up with is just that, something that I stumbled upon, stumbled through…messing around, but it shows me, me on the inside…
So I sat down recently and began to stumble around again, after about 2 hours I hit upon something. I saved the base of it and began to stumble around in it. I saved it down as “I Was Saved”… As I kept messing around with the melody and some backdrop textures I kept getting more and more emotional about it. I thought I should rename it as I was Saved From Anger, maybe I was Saved From Rage, I finally named it I dream of Things. There is something about this one. I dream of a day that I can look back on my days of Anger with full awareness I have overcome.
There are only 3 people who REALLY understand what I am delivered from. One of them is Leisha and she knows the most but even at that, she only knows from an outside view. No one knows the depth and breadth of deliverance except me.
From Leisha’s personal journal date Feb 13, 1995
Revealed to me Sept 18, 2014
It reads :
Tomorrow is our first Valentines day without mom. Ron & I have no money & Sherry isn’t holding up her end of the bargain. I thought we had made some changes when we talked on New Years Eve. But tonight we are getting into another argument that makes no sense. Ron’s anger intimidates me and that is not right or fair.
When he gets really angry about something trivial I know its because of how hard he is working and the hours he keeps. I also know it is never resolved when I think it is. The other shoe almost always drops.
When he is like this he thinks he does all the work. There is no use trying to talk to him or reason with him. It seems is that all he wants is for me to admit he is right. Tonight I feel I am at my wits end. I don’t know what to do. If I get to the point where I am crying he gets angrier.
The story continues to unfold of Leisha and I journeying out of our past. This week was the most poignant and difficult for me since I asked her for forgiveness in November of 2012. You see we have been seeing Bob Hamp as a counselor most of the summer. It started out as me going to see him after my fathers death to pre-process any potential deep grieving. I was afraid of going off the deep end so to speak…. I finished that end of June, we did our video through Valley Creek which stirred some things up. Leisha has had some things going on in her for near a year and we decided it was her turn to see Bob. She did up until the second week of Sept. Not a lot of sessions but some very meaningful sessions. Then he asked us to begin to meet with him as a couple. On our first session he thought it was best to begin some exercises together and we gladly followed. Know that with what I am about to describe I am still gladly following and so is Leisha. We have complete trust in where Bob is taking us, he knows what is in our hearts for our futures, he made a commitment to me to navigate us through some things albeit I am not sure he knew when he said that he had an “inkling” this week would occur. Maybe he did….just no idea, but he said what he said about navigating, it stirred me deeply and I am going to hold him to it !!!! 🙂